Worst. Guests. Ever.

It was a warm, somewhat humid day in August as the wranglers prepared for their 9-guest two-night trip.  As they were going into a permanent summer camp, all they had to plan on packing in was food and the guests duffel, so they figured that the pack shouldn't be too bad.  After saddling 13 riding horses (9 guest and 4 staff) and 3 pack animals, they were set.  The packer and his helper, loaded their riding horses and the pack animals into the trailer and prepared to motor up to a closer trail head as soon as the guests gear showed up.  It wasn't long until the elite group showed up and everyone was able to get going.  The packers headed up the road and the guests started up the trail with their 2 wranglers.  It would take them about two hours to ride in, and the packers would take about an hour from their starting point.

Once in camp, the packers unloaded and started getting camp prepared.  As all the gear stays in camp, all they had to do was make beds, unload duffel and food, and take care of stock.  Once the guests arrived, one of the wranglers switched to "cook" mode and settled into the cook tent, setting out hors d'oeuvres and preparing for dinner.

This is when the trouble started... For the next two days, guests complained and misbehaved non-stop.  Some examples of the conversations that could have been overheard (Capitals indicate loud, irate or adamant tones):

"Ma'am... um, I believe that one of your party may have been confused on the latrine instructions.  We found a ... um... deposit on the trail to the corral, including toilet paper"
"We are NOT confused.  We are NOT using that toilet... it's disgusting"
(And so, somebody spent their annivsary and subsequent days, wandering around shoveling up & burying waste that was deposited EVERYWHERE... think about it.. 9 people for 3 days?!)

"We want to go for a hike.  Do you have some bear spray we could use?"
"Yes Ma'am, I'll get it for you."  "Here you are.. Do you know how to use this?"
"OF COURSE I DO.. WE ARE LOCALS YOU KNOW!!"
"Um, ok.. so you've used this before?"
"NO WE HAVEN'T HAD TO USE IT!"
"Do you need me to show you how?"
"NO!!  I TOLD YOU WE'RE LOCALS!  WE'VE LIVED HERE FOR A WHOLE YEAR!!!"

After a horse half-heartedly kicked at the horse behind him on the trail:
"Oh My Goodness!  Did you see that horse buck??  THAT HORSE JUST BUCKED!!"
"Ma'am, I think he was just kicking at your horse that got too close"
"HE WAS BUCKING!  WE OWN A CATTLE RANCH IN COLORADO, YOU KNOW!  I THINK I'D KNOW WHEN A HORSE BUCKS!!" (Didn't she just say earlier that they're locals?)

"I can't believe this service.  This is terrible" (overheard from same lady as she came back from creek with a bottle of wine)
"What is the problem, ma'am?"
"This service!  It's terrible!  You should be mixing our drinks and be going around the campfire refilling our wine glasses!"
"And which wine would I be using?  You have 8 bottles open and 3 glasses for each of you sitting everywhere..."
"Hmpf"

"I can't BELIEVE you don't have running water!"

"Why is that tent zipped up?  Am I not allowed in the cook tent this morning?"
"Ma'am, please feel free to go in the tent.  It's just closed to keep the heat in from the woodstove, so you have a warm place to go"

"Where is the face wash?"

 After a guest opened his blister pack of batteries & then dropped the package on the ground & walked away:
"Sir.. I think you dropped something."
The man looks down at the pack, over at the staff member, turns & walks away.  Apparently they are used to people literally picking up every little thing they don't want to deal with... used tissues, garbage, beer cans, etc.  And, of course, the lovely deposits above.

Upon the appearance of a Mule Deer Buck on the ridge by camp:
"Is that an elk?"
"No Ma'am, it's a very nice mule deer buck."
"That is an ELK!  I think I know and elk when I see it!"
"No, I'm pretty sure it's a deer"
"We have elk in our yard ALL THE TIME, and that is the same color as those animals!  I'm NOT STUPID!!"
"Ok, Ma'am, it's an elk"


"Ma'am... um, I believe that one of your party may have been confused on the latrine instructions.  We found a ... um... deposit on the trail to the corral, including toilet paper"
"We are NOT confused.  We are NOT using that toilet... it's disgusting"
(And so, somebody spent their annivsary and subsequent days, wandering around shoveling up & burying waste that was deposited EVERYWHERE... think about it.. 9 people for 3 days?!)


And that was just a few of the examples.  It may be safe to say that all 13 people were glad when the trip was done.  Interestingly enough, however, the lady who complained the most came to the packer & told him that he was the only reason they stayed and gave him a very nice tip.  Go figure.... People are funny - but we're glad that they are not all that way!!