I came into work this morning, early, like I always do.
I started the coffee, turned on the grill, set out pastries – like I always do
I put out the “Open” signs, made the soup and prepared for the day – like I always do.
But... it wasn’t like always. It wasn’t fun. It wasn’t anticipatory. It wasn’t …. Normal.
Thanks to Governor Kate Brown, our county (the only one in eastern Oregon to be singled out) along with 11 other western Oregon counties were flung back into the "Extreme Risk" category which prohibits indoor dining, resulting in "Extreme" hardship, frustration and sadness.
Those of us in the hospitality industry have chosen this business because we like doing nice things for people. We’re social, we’re caretakers, we like to feed people and laugh and visit and care for them. But, today, there are no people. There’s no energy. There’s little expectation for the day and the hope for the future seep slowly out the corners of my empty café with every new little prick from the Governor, the government and those who support them.
My cafe is empty of customers and staff alike - reflecting the emptiness of a Governor and government who care little for small business owners, rural residents and the physical and mental health of their constituents... or at least that's how it feels.
I feel attacked and abandoned by not only the "rule-makers" and strangers, but by my own friends, colleagues and even family. This, of course, isn't actually true. Many, many neighbors & customers & local authorities have expressed support and understanding of our situation and decisions. But... But... they aren't here with me in my echoing dining area. They aren't here with me as I review each day's dismal sales report. They aren't here when I'm being harangued for wearing a mask, for NOT making everyone wear a mask, for being closed to dine in, for not shutting down completely, for literally every decision that I have to make during this 15th month of on-going uncertainty and craziness, there's someone unhappy with me. And, even though they verbally express support... many choose to go eat at the business nearby that has elected to stay open and ignore the restrictions. The street is full of vehicles, but my cafe is still empty. And, I can't blame any of them, not the customers nor the other business. I feel the same way - I just don't have the luxury they do.
And, I'm not the only restaurant owner to feel this way. A friend who's also in the business has battled health issues due to stress directly related to the repeated shutdowns, unkind comments and financial worries. Employees have chosen to work elsewhere that is more consistent and reliable, or to not work at all thanks to Oregon's incentivized unemployment program. I myself have fought random and in-explicable health issues... thunderclap headaches, sudden debilitating joint pain and more. The on-set last fall is suspiciously coincidental....
Of course, there's those who say that's just business. That I asked for it when I purchased a cafe in a tiny town. And, in a sense, they're correct. But, I didn't ask for a power-hungry Government, or for a bunch of politicos whose main objective is sticking it to "the other side", or for agencies whose incompetence is becoming ludicrous. I mean really, how many times do we have to hear "demand was higher than expected"?? I can not recall a single time that assistance was promised and then denied due to higher than expected demand.
The latest fiasco by the Small Business Administration is only the most recent in a string of such disappointments. After webinars and phone calls that assured me we'd be eligible for assistance, and a week of preparation for the submittal, and the time and effort invested making the submittal itself, I was told that we are NOT eligible for a grant because our expenses didn't exceed our gross receipts. Well... duh. I pay bills when I get money.. that's why they're equal. And, I haven't taken a paycheck in months, I've got past due bills, and friends that work for free because we can't pay them. But I'm not eligible because I didn't have the reserves to pay all those things even though the income wasn't there? So, in essence, this grant is for big businesses that had plenty of reserves... not for the small businesses that survive due only to hard work and kind friends and customers.
And all this because of how data is applied, misused or interpreted. We're told that we need to "trust the science". I have no problem with the science. I believe the virus exists. I believe that it can be deadly. I believe that preventative measures work (even though that's another opinion that gets me attacked). I do NOT believe that OSHA or our Governor are applying that science in a reasonable and and intelligent manner. The science does not support the decisions that the Governor has made. Rather, it feels as if Baker County is being singled out for some vindictive purpose, and that restaurants in general are being attacked. It makes no sense to shut down bars & restaurants when OSHA admits that less than 4% of cases have been linked to restaurants (74% are linked to OSU dorms!!)
And now we have to deal with OSHA's new rule that mandates a permanent mask rule until THEY determine there's no more CoVid (ridiculous since it's endemic) amongst other onerous requirements.
In spite of all this, I've followed all mandates, guidelines and rules to have come along. Every shut down, every new suggestion, I've complied. Because I thought it was the ethical thing to do. I have resisted making decisions based on finances or public opinion or my own desires. I've been diligent in doing what I believe is right. And, I've been asked repeatedly "When do you say 'Enough is Enough'?" Well, I'm about there... If one stands on principle and on making ethical and moral decisions, and some point one must say that the policies and requirements being placed on me are immoral and unethical and take a stand. Perhaps that time is approaching. Perhaps that time is now.
