Life should be Creativity's Muse - Creativity should not be Life's Victim

My husband and friends often ask me why I don't spend more time writing if I love it so much?  That old adage "You make time for what's important to you" springs to mind, and lips, often.  And, while it's true in many cases, it doesn't clearly address the creative mind. 

For me anyway, writing takes not only time, but emotion and creativity and energy. 

I've always considered myself the logical organized, practical mind.  Not the creative, passionate, artful mind.  Because you can't be both, right?  That's what we're told and taught to believe.  Right-brain vs Left-brain.  Math/Science vs Art/Literature.  Logic vs Emotion.  Heck, Conservative vs Liberal. 

But - Why??

Why is everything we're told, taught & see, couched in terms of either/or?  Life does not have to be divisive.  It SHOULDN'T be so divisive.  So, why can't I be BOTH practical AND creative?  Logical AND passionate.  Organized AND artful?  

That is my pursuit... to be what I WANT to be WHEN I want to be.  However... I'm not sure how to accomplish that.  Working so much every day results in the opposite of what writing requires of me - I have little time, often low emotions, creativity that is smothered by organization and book work and an exhaustion that hangs on me like a sick child. Writing is the victim of Life when Life should be the Muse of Writing.

As I today am mourning the loss of another friend, I am once more reminded of how little time we have here on this earth.  We should do what we love (dare I say "Everything we love") while we can.  Even if we live long, we get OLD.  Our passions fall victim to our aches & pains & age.  As I ponder how fast time is passing, I am ever more aware that I need to pursue those passions NOW.  What does that look like?  I'm not sure - more writing for sure (so you're getting TWO blog posts today).  More Riding maybe?  More reading, more gardening & canning?  More travel?  More playing with dogs & listening to music & attending festivals?  More attempts to express myself to you... more pictures to have when I can no longer "go"... 

So... let's see if those goals can materialize... Here's to US making time to be creative, shaking off those things that weigh us down & keep us back.  Let's LIVE while we're living.

Here is Too Much... Let's look forward to "Perfect"

 I spent this afternoon working on a slideshow / video for a friend's funeral... again.  This is the 3rd one in less than 6 months and the 2nd one in 30 days.  And... it might be too much.  Don't misunderstand me - I very much appreciate the ability to help friends and family in their time of distress.  This is a tangible "gift" I can give that takes a load off of them and is a ministry that I can provide at a time they are often too distraught to even know what to ask for.

But - my nature is to do my very best - which means going through each picture & editing if necessary, contemplating the order of pictures, the music to accompany, any text, etc.  It means watching the video over & over & over so I can catch any gaps or mistakes or see if anything needs moved.  And, that means grieving over & over & over... Every time I watch it, the emotions well up again.  

This wouldn't be so difficult if it didn't seem to come along so often.  And, it brings up so many thoughts & concerns & sudden epiphanies.  Like - we've always moved a lot.  That means making lots of friends, but moving before you get TOO close - which we never really pondered - until we moved into a community we're not rushing out of, and working jobs that bring us into close contact with a large portion of the community - a community comprised of many elderly or at least retirement age residents.  And, that means we lose a LOT of people we've gotten close to.  Every week we get news of someone who was taken out on the ambulance, or rushed to the hospital or life-flighted to a bigger hospital.  And, often, they don't return.  

Lately, the paranoia that each time may be the LAST time I talk to someone, has been stalking my every interaction.  It makes it more precious - and also more desperate and sometimes sad.  

I'm so tired of death and disease and mourning.  I'm tired of this rotten fruit of Eve's rebellion.  I'm tired of pain and goodbyes and evil stalking us.  

But, I'm Thankful for God's promise of a heaven free from all those evils - and the only thing I can continue to seek is His Grace, and His Salvation - for all my loved ones and friends and neighbors, that we might dwell forever together, with no paranoia and no Goodbye's.  Are you prepared to join us there?  Where there is nothing that is too sad, too rotten, too overwhelming?  Where nothing is "too much" to bear, but only and ever PERFECT.

In Memory of Lela Shold, Buck Greene and Bill Wright (as well as others I haven't listed but are very much missed as well)